Mmm, facts

I love knowing stuff. I'm not determined enough to accumulate knowledge that is actually complicated, like quantum physics or microbiology or fourth-dimensional mathematics, but I do love to stuff my mind with simple, fluffy facts. I am pretty good at Jeopardy (depending on the category), I am almost always smarter than a fifth grader, I can get the pies in Trivial Pursuit, and I could hold my own in a discussion with a member of the paparazzi regarding celebrity comings and goings. (This last wealth of knowledge is because I've recently become hooked on a celebrity gossip blog that is often trashier than my old standby, People magazine, and almost always funnier.) Oh, and I always know the right answers on "Jaywalking."

I've recently been challenged to employ myself in more scholarly fact-gathering than what I happen to glean from quiz shows or late night television. Here are my three inspirations:

1. We are living in a house with an incredible study. It is a room with a big window on one wall that lets in natural light. The other three walls are filled with built-in bookshelves, which are full of heady books, some of which do not interest me (The Encyclopedia of Philosophy, Yugoslavia as History), some of which I wish had a movie version or Cliff's Notes (The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire: Vols. 1-3, A Manual of the Writings of Middle English), and some of which I like to pretend will interest me some day (all the works of T.S. Eliot, Chaucer, Shakespeare, and most other authors of note).

The pile of things that I brought to read while we were living here includes In Her Shoes, Harry Potter, and my Real Simple magazine. It's a little humbling for a person who imagines that she is smart.

2. We just spent a weekend with my friends John and KarenD. John is the type who reads Wikipedia and listens to NPR for fun, and we could always count on him to revive a lagging conversation with his favorite words, "You know what I just read/heard?" This question was always followed by some sort of trivia usually concerning fractals, technology, or what small percentage of the brain is utilized by the average human. As if I needed mathematical proof of how mentally lazy I actually am.

3. I am totally digging my latest book, as I've listed in my "Recent Reads." The Know-It-All is a surprisingly hilarious memoir of a guy who decides to read the Encyclopaedia Brittanica from A-Z. The first chapter is titled "A," the last chapter is titled "Z," and it's a witty commentary on the funniest, most random, or most interesting facts that he stumbles across along the way.

The story begins when the author, who is wanting to become a parent, pictures himself being asked a question like "Why is the sky blue?" by his child, and he realizes that he doesn't know. Now for a man who imagined himself to be smart and well-informed, it is sad and shocking to realize that that he could have told his child the names of Julia Roberts' children, but that he could not satisfy little Junior's first query about the world around him.

This story really hit home for me, and when I have not been waking Stephen up in the middle of the night by laughing out loud at this book, I've actually been contemplating delving into the EB myself. So if you call me and I don't pick up, or you notice that I'm a little slow to blog, it's probably because I'm engrossed in a scholarly article about the use of symbolism and irony in eighteenth century French literature. Unless I'm reading up on which celebrities attended the Beckhams' "Welcome to America" party. It would be a tough call.