I have discovered, to my surprise, that I have mixed feelings about birth videos. As an impressionable teenager, I heard a very cool young mom discussing the video of her giving birth to her daughter, saying that she liked to watch it and laugh at herself. The image of THAT pretty much turned me off to the idea. My opinion wasn't really changed much in college, when I watched A Baby Story religously. It was daily visual confirmation that birth is the most unflattering thing in the world that a woman can participate in, and I make a very intentional effort to avoid contributing to permanent records of me looking gross (that is why the family albums from the years 1994-2000 have mysteriously disappeared from my parents' house).
But I recently talked to an adult colleague of mine who made me think twice about the value of birth videos. She said that her family watches the videos from her son's birth every year on his birthday and it is special to him to see how happy everyone was that he came into the world. I decided that a video of that sort might be a special memento.
The last time I had talked about this was with my friend Abbey, who is now weeks away from giving birth to Owen. I felt bad because it turned out that the topic of birth videos was a topic of disagreement between her and her husband. On the ride home from Abbey's house, I discovered that it was a topic of disagreement between me and my husband as well. I believe that both Stephen and Josh were opposed because men in general are squeamish about the miracle of birth. But it wasn't a hill I wanted to die on at that moment, so I decided to let the topic drop.
That was early this year, and what got me thinking about it again is that I watched an interview with Terri Erwin on 20/20 last night. The show featured clips of her two birth videos, with Steve delivering their kids. I decided that my official stance on birthing videos is favorable, but with some very important boundaries:
1. The Birth Video (BV) will never be made available to be shown, in whole or in part, on Barbara Walters' show.
2. The BV will document the early stages of labor (especially if I end up looking as cute as Annie Banks MacKenzie in Father of the Bride Part II in my hospital gown) but will pause as soon as my grimaces become too disturbing. Recording will commence again as the nurse lays a clean baby into my arms, capturing Stephen's proud smile and my own tired but happy tears.
3. The BV will contain no footage that involves yelling
4. The BV will contain no footage that involves blood
5. The BV will contain no footage that involves stirrups or the use thereof
6. The BV will contain no footage of dialogue involving grisly medical words like placenta and worse
7. The BV will contain an interview in which the doctor expresses amazement at my bravery and strength
I realize that most hospitals don't allow video cameras in the delivery room anyway for legal reasons, but I am curious to hear other people's opinions anyway.
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8 comments:
I agree that birthing is one of the most unflattering positions a woman can find herself in. Physically, emotionally, and generally, she's a wreck, totally concentrating on the process.
I like your edited versions much better. Now THAT would be a great keepsake to play on birthdays for your child ("Look how happy we were to see you at last!" everyone smiles)
I still like watching my kids' wedding videos whether it's their anniversary or not. Significant events should be remembered. I wish I had a video of my own wedding but, alas, home video cameras hadn't been invented yet. Or VCR's. Or home computers. Or cell phones. Well, you get the idea. I'm ancient. :)
LOL I think that is the real reason that Stephen is opposed to the videos--it might catch him passing out or making some comment like "Honey, I'm not feeling so good right now..."
For some reason, when I think of a BV, I have flashbacks to being forced to watch The Miracle of Life in health class where it's HELLO baby's head coming out of you-know-where.
And I vowed that my yoohoo would never be on film like that, ew!
But the BV in the way you've described it doesn't sound so bad. I would just be afraid that the camera would wander where it shouldn't or even capture me cursing or sweating or looking not-so-cute. So, I think I'll be a fan of digital pictures... I can just delete the ones I don't like.
And we don't own a video camera... but that might change with the prospect of kids coming along.
I think that y'all underestimate me. I'm a man. I can handle it. And anoter thing, NO OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS IN THE BIRTHING ROOM!
I'd like to get a video camera when we have kids, but I have never thought about a BV. I think I'd rather photos, like Karen. Our excitement will still be captured, but the other things won't. Besides, who's to say after watching that video myself that I'd ever want another child? Seems like a pretty strong deterrant, and that the actual birthing experience is something we're supposed to forget.
Stephen means that no one is allowed in the birthing room EXCEPT for the videographer, who will have received very clear instructions. The camera will be turned off during the scary part, so there is no danger of camera wanderage.
Linds, you better be able to trust your videographer, then. Choose them wisely, because I can imagine me screaming at whatever family member is holding the camera to turn it off, but they won't. You know how people are... you tell them not to do something, and they want to do it. They think it's funny to capture you at your worst on film. And once the video is made, you never know who will get their grubby hands on it. I dunno... the verdict is still out for me on the BV.
Pranksters are automatically disqualified for the video job. Only obedient applicants will be considered.
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