I love lists. I especially love lists that can be both amusing and have practical life applications. Here's one for you. Read, enjoy, and learn.
1. "How many calories are in this [delicious food]?
2. "You're going to the doctor? What for?"
3. "What does he/she have that I don't?"
4. (to the angry student speaking Spanish) "What does that mean?"
5. "What a cute baby! What is his name?"
6. "What were you in prison for?"
7. "Why do dragonflies fly double?" (I learned that the hard way, in seventh grade science)
8. (for Stephen) "How much did you pay for that?"
9. "You had saved that file, right?"
10. (in Mexico) "What do you mean, this is "like" beef?" (for Abbey)
(This of course, leaves you to assume the obvious ones: "How much to you weigh?" "Are you pregnant?" etc.)
Now for the fun part: This is the first ever Lindsey's Blog Contest. Add your own questions to this list. The person who comes up with the question that makes me laugh the hardest wins a prize!
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12 comments:
I'm coming out of Blog Lurkage for the contest!! First of all, hi, I'm Lydia, and you know my sis-in-law, Karen, and my friend for life, Teresa. It's a small world. Now to the contest!! :)
5. (hubby's input) Does this make me look fat?
4. (similar to yours, but still happened) Is that your daughter in the picture? (The boy was seven, with wavy long hair. How was I to know?!)
3. Have you thought about hair removal laser surgery?
2. (to newlyweds) Why didn't you answer your phone last night?
1. Where do you keep your plunger?
ok, here are my additions...
* Were you in the bathroom that whole time?
*Are you going to eat that too?
*Are you really going to wear that?
*What are gummy bears made out of?
*Why is the water warmer over here by you?
*So...do you consider yourself to be male or female?
"Did you know you had a big zit on your face?"
I'm thinking of more... I wanna win!
Oh, here's one that happened to me...
"Honey, I think I'm fat."
Hubby: "What are you going to do about it?"
Ok, I've got more...sorry, all of mine seem to be gross...
*What exactly is a mucus plug?
*Does your car always smell like this?
*Did you forget to brush your teeth this morning?
*This pile of clothes is clean, right?
*Are you going to swim in those white shorts?
Do you want to go to time out?
I hate it when Lindsey asks me this.
"Mommy, why does that lady have a moustache?" (Answer: Shhhh!)
"Do you have PMS?" (Answer: Shove it!)
"Honey, will you pick up some tampons for me while you're at the store?" (Answer: Er, um...)
1. (on the phone when you call someone's hotel room) Have you left yet?
2. (in our country) What is that white stuff? (It is always yogurt.)
3. (to your husband) Honey, do you want to [insert chore]?
4. (also to your husband) Is this skirt too short? or Is this shirt too tight?
5. (to a catholic on ash wednesday, and I've done this) Do you know you have black stuff on your forehead?
i cant think of any more now, get back with you later. and where is my juicy reading material email??? :)
Those are hilarious. I love contests!
I will award the prize on Friday.
lindsey, what are those pink period pads for???
(me when i was little)
those were the days.....
So, how's that cream working out?
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